where is this going
/wɛr ɪz ðɪs ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/
CommonThe question someone asks (or wants to ask) when a romantic situation has no clear direction.
Often used as shorthand for the anxiety itself, not just the literal question. Saying 'I need to ask where is this going' signals you've reached your limit with ambiguity.
Real-world examples4 examples
| # | Example | What it means | Source |
|---|---|---|---|
| 01 | we've been talking for 4 months and i genuinely don't know where is this going | Four months in and still no clarity on what the situation is. | reddit, 2024 |
| 02 | she finally asked him where is this going and he said 'i don't know' lmaooo | The conversation happened and the answer was unsatisfying. | x, 2024 |
| 03 | i hate that i even have to ask where is this going. shouldn't it just be obvious by now | Feeling frustrated that the situation requires a formal conversation instead of naturally progressing. | tiktok, 2023 |
| 04 | every time i try to bring up where is this going he changes the subject | The other person is avoiding the conversation about commitment. | reddit, 2024 |
Use it when
- You've been seeing someone for weeks or months with no clarity on what you are.
- You're about to have a conversation about the future of a situationship.
- You're venting about someone who keeps things deliberately vague.
- You're describing the moment someone finally demanded clarity.
Do not use it when
- You're in a committed relationship asking about future plans.
- You just started talking to someone days ago.
Where is this going vs define the relationship
where is this going
Where is this going is the question or the anxiety that precedes the conversation.
VS
define-the-relationship
Define the relationship (DTR) is the actual act of having that conversation and reaching a conclusion.
Origin and context
A natural language phrase that became internet slang shorthand for relationship ambiguity anxiety. Spread as online dating discourse made the 'undefined relationship' a common shared experience.
- First seen
- 2010s
- Confidence
- low
Cite this page
Use this stable URL to reference the entry.
https://slang.fyi/where-is-this-goingUpdated: 2026-08-29License: CC BY 4.0