codependency
/ˌkoʊdɪˈpɛndənsi/
CommonA relationship pattern where one person's sense of self becomes tied to managing or fixing another person.
Has a clinical definition but is widely used online as self-diagnosis. Sometimes applied too broadly to any close or caring relationship.
| # | Example | What it means | Source |
|---|---|---|---|
| 01 | If she was in a bad mood, my whole day was ruined. That's textbook codependency. | Their emotional state was completely tied to another person's mood. | tiktok, 2024 |
| 02 | I thought being needed was the same as being loved. Codependency is sneaky. | Conflating emotional enmeshment with genuine connection. | instagram, 2023 |
| 03 | Grew up with an alcoholic dad. Took years to realize I was still trying to fix him as an adult in every relationship. | Childhood caregiving role carrying over into adult romantic patterns. | reddit, 2024 |
| 04 | Not every close friendship is codependency. Let people love their friends. | Pushing back on overuse of the term for normal close relationships. | x, 2024 |
Use it when
- Someone's emotional state is entirely dependent on another person's behavior.
- Someone feels responsible for fixing or managing another person.
- Someone loses their sense of identity in a relationship.
Do not use it when
- You just mean two people are very close or prefer spending time together.Use “close” instead.
- You mean mutual reliance in a healthy partnership.Use “interdependence” instead.
Codependency vs people-pleaser
codependency
Codependency is a relational dynamic where your identity becomes entangled with managing another person.
people-pleaser
People-pleaser is a behavioral habit of avoiding conflict by prioritizing others' approval.
Origin and context
Originated in addiction counseling in the 1970s and 80s to describe family members of alcoholics who organize their lives around the addict. Popularized broadly by Melody Beattie's 1986 book 'Codependent No More'. Entered internet wellness culture in the 2020s.
- First seen
- 1970s
- Confidence
- high
Cite this page
Use this stable URL to reference the entry.
https://slang.fyi/codependency